UPDATE: HOW AM I DOING MENTALLY?

 It’s been five days since my last journal entry, and so much has happened that I’ve had to pause and gather my thoughts. Some days feel heavier than others, and I’m learning—slowly but surely—how to navigate this new reality with patience, self-compassion, and the support of those around me.

 Seizure Updates & Medical Insights

• I’ve been focusing on learning about my triggers to help manage my seizures. Sudden movements, stress, fatigue, or dehydration can set them off. It’s a delicate balance between staying active and knowing my limits.

• Recently, I experienced three days without a seizure, which felt like a small but meaningful victory. Even so, I still struggle with dizziness, nausea, and weakness.

• During seizures, my right side often goes numb, and sometimes my hand trembles uncontrollably. Feeling my body betray me like this is frightening, but it’s part of understanding how seizures affect me physically.

• My doctor ruled out vertigo and psychological causes and referred me to a neurologist. After multiple hospital visits and a hospital stay, we still don’t have clear answers. It’s frustrating, but we’re learning that this journey takes time—and patience.

 Daily Challenges

• Some days feel almost normal, and I find myself wanting to do my usual chores. But my body quickly reminds me that I’m not quite ready, and overexertion can trigger seizures.

• Simple tasks like cooking have become monumental. One night, I made rice, rested, and then prepared the meat. Another night, while attempting pasta, my body trembled, and dizziness overtook me. I cried out of frustration—not because I don’t appreciate my husband’s help, but because I long to contribute and feel “normal” again.

• Independence has always been central to who I am, so adjusting to these limitations has been emotionally challenging. I feel gratitude and frustration in equal measure.

 Coping Strategies

• A generous friend lent us a wheelchair, which has become a lifeline. It allows me to safely enjoy moments outside: sitting on the porch, reading, watching birds, or visiting our garden with my husband’s help.

• I’m practicing practical strategies to help manage seizures:

  • Pacing myself during activities

  • Avoiding sudden movements

  • Staying hydrated

  • Keeping a seizure diary to track triggers

  • Using adaptive tools like the wheelchair

  Small Victories & Gratitude

• Even when progress feels slow, there are moments of beauty: the wind in my hair, the sight of our garden, a quiet moment of reading, or simply sitting in silence.

• Each seizure-free day, no matter how brief, is a win. Celebrating small victories helps me stay positive and reminds me that progress can be measured in tiny, meaningful steps.

• This journey is teaching me resilience, patience, and the importance of self-compassion. Even when my body feels weak, my spirit learns to find strength.

  Looking Ahead

• Recovery right now is all about rest, careful planning, and listening to my body. I am learning to trust the process and not rush myself.

• The neurologist appointment isn’t until October, so in the meantime, my husband and I are adjusting, supporting each other, and taking things one day at a time.

• I hope to regain more independence in the future, but for now, I’m learning that patience, love, and gratitude are essential parts of healing—and that even small steps forward are worth celebrating.

 "Healing is not linear, but every small step forward is a victory worth celebrating."

 Author: Nemesis N. Escobar-Cruz