SPOIL YOURSELF, MAMA: SELF-CARE

  I know — you probably read that title and thought, “Yeah, right… I don’t even know where to start.”
 And honestly, I didn’t either.

 For so long, I did what most moms do. I paid the bills, cleared the debts, and covered the essentials. And when there was a little left over, I turned to my daughter — What does she need? What does she want? Whatever was left after that went straight into savings, untouched, because as a single mom, that safety net was everything.

 But I remember needing new clothes. New shoes. And every time I’d go out, I’d end up buying things for my daughter instead. Until one day, I couldn’t anymore. I had stretched what I owned for so long that everything was worn out, and I needed something new.

 I remember standing in that store, feeling both happy and heartbroken. Happy that I was finally getting something for myself… but sad because guilt crept in. I felt selfish — even though my daughter already had everything she needed and wanted.

 That moment broke something open in me.

 It was the first time I realized how hard it is for moms to spoil themselves. How unnatural it feels to put ourselves first, even just for a moment. But I told myself — enough.

 Because guess what, mama? We matter too. We deserve to feel seen, cared for, and loved — not just by others, but by ourselves.

 That’s where my journey toward self-love began.

 A year later, I decided to take another step. I fell in love with the Dyson Airwrap (you know the one!), and oh my — I wanted it so bad. But the guilt came rushing back. It sat in my online cart for four days. Four days of back-and-forth, asking myself, “Am I being selfish?”

 Then one day, my mom asked, “Did you ever buy it?”
I laughed and said, “Well… it’s still sitting in my cart.”

  She smiled and asked, “Are your bills paid? Does your daughter have everything she needs? Do you have what you need?”
I said yes.

 And then she said something I’ll never forget:

 “Then spoil yourself. You deserve it. You work hard, you give, you love — but you’ve forgotten about you. Don’t forget that you matter too.”

 Those words hit deep. So, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and hit confirm.
It wasn’t just about buying something. It was about reclaiming a part of myself I had ignored for too long.

 That moment made me think about my daughter — about the kind of woman and mother she’ll one day become. I want her to know that it’s okay to take care of herself. That she deserves joy, rest, and little luxuries too. And the best way to teach her that… is by showing her.

 Since then, I’ve made a promise to myself: Twice a year, I’ll buy something I need and something I want.
Every June, I book a hair appointment. I buy the shoes, the dress, or the lipstick that makes me feel me again.

 And slowly, I started to change. I began to feel lighter. Happier. My daughter noticed too. She started joining me — getting her nails done, trying new hairstyles, finding her own style. And seeing that confidence bloom in her? That’s the most beautiful part.

 Self-care looks different for every mama. Some days it’s rest. Some days it’s new clothes. Some days it’s just reminding yourself that you matter.

 It’s not easy — it takes time, and heart, and healing. But if you can take that first little step toward yourself, you’ve already started blooming again. 🌷