For the ones who wanted love before they learned to fear it.
It feels strange at first—
unnatural, even.
Like wearing something soft
your skin forgot it was allowed to touch.
Because when you’ve gone so long without love,
affection doesn’t arrive as comfort—
it arrives as confusion.
You wonder why tenderness makes your chest tighten
instead of relax.
Why being seen feels foreign.
Why something so gentle
feels so new.
Then it starts happening.
The words.
The affection.
The way you’re wanted, chosen, held.
And your heart—
your heart opens instantly.
It softens.
It believes.
It remembers how badly it once needed this.
But your mind doesn’t celebrate.
It interrogates.
Why now?
What changed?
Why didn’t I deserve this before?
Because your brain only knows patterns,
and love has always ended for you.
So fear creeps in quietly
right when it starts to feel real.
Your nervous system goes into flight.
It builds walls where warmth lives.
It puts space between you and love
before love can disappear on its own.
Not because you don’t want it—
but because losing it would hurt more
than never believing in it at all.
And yet—
Even through the fear,
even with every instinct screaming retreat,
your heart keeps reaching.
It still beats for closeness.
For desire.
For being wanted without hesitation.
Because your heart remembers the nights
you cried quietly,
the love you gave without receiving,
the ache you learned to carry alone.
Isn’t it ironic how when love finally arrives,
fear asks us to turn it away—
as if protecting ourselves
means choosing the same emptiness
we once survived without.
I won’t let my mind surrender to that fear.
Not this time.
Because my heart deserves this love.
It has ached.
It has waited.
It has carried longing quietly
for far too long.
And I refuse to deny it
the very thing
it never stopped beating for.
With Love,
Mommy In Bloom
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